Little Miss Forgetful
by bookworm1011
Summary: Lily Evans has had a terrible and unfortunate accident, one that she may never recover from. What happens when a certain raven haired, halzel eyed Quidditch Player holds the key to a deep dark secret that concerns her? Can she trust him?
1. Chapter 1

**Little Miss Forgetful**

**A Story by bookworm1011**

Excerpt is taken from J.K. Rowlings, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

* * *

"I don't want you to make him apologise," I shouted, rounding on Potter. "You're as bad as he is."

"What?" yelped James. "I'd NEVER call you a – you-know-what!"

"Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can – I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK." I turned on my heel and hurried away, completely ignoring his shouts and pleas for me to come back. I couldn't stand him, on good days I could get away with only screaming at him once or twice. These were the days where we had our complete blow outs.

I had made my way up to the front of the castle, still fuming. If steam could come out of your ears anyone in a three foot radius would have been burned to a crisp. I'm serious, well not actually; if I was Sirius I would probably have to shoot myself. Or at least jump off an extremely high surface.

But anyways the point is I was pissed.

I could tell everyone was avoiding me, not that I didn't blame them. I mean it was common knowledge that when Potter and I had our blow outs you should stay away from me for at least an hour, to save yourself.

I stomped up the steps; I could hear the sound of my shoes bounce off the ceiling. Now I have to tell you I was never one of those girls who could balance on one foot and eat ice cream or something silly like that, no I was one hundred percent klutz. So I shouldn't have been a bit surprised that when I reached the top step I tripped on a piece of an old scales kit that had been left abandoned. No the surprise came when I toppled backwards, down all of the steps, and I just kept falling and falling.

You know how when some people have big accidents they say they've had a life changing experience; they saw the light or some other bull shit along those lines. Well I definitely saw something. Yeah I saw the floor come hurtling towards my face and the only thought on my mind was.

"Fuck this is going to hurt."

When I was ten I stepped on a nail. I cried and I cried, my mother did everything she could to get me to stop crying. Eventually I just fell asleep, whimpering that it still hurt. Since that day I have always measured how much I hurt by that event.

Well today it feels like I've been bloody shot in the head. I have never felt any pain even close to this. My head isn't working properly either. My eyes won't open, not that I really want to open. If I were to open them there would be sun in my eyes, and I would have to talk to people, and I wasn't in the mood for talking to people. My head hurt, and my back hurt, and I think my neck hurt. Though it could have just been the pillow, which I was pretty sure was just all scrunched up funny under my neck.

I could hear someone moving next to me, just the sound of liquid being poured. Than someone's hand opened my mouth and poured it down my throat, than everything went black…again.

"Ugh…"

"Ah Ms. Evans your awake."

My eyes fluttered open, blinking fast at the light.

"You took quite the tumble; you'll be fine in a few days though." Madam Pomfry said quickly while working around me in a flurry of movement.

"Did… did someone clean up the mess on the stairs?" I asked stuttering over the words my voice sounding hoarse and gravelly.

"Stairs… what on earth are you talking about?" She asked stopping what she was doing, and looking at me with a confused expression on her face.

"I slipped at the top of the stairs and fell down them."

"No, you were in potions. Mr. Black accidently spilled his cauldron and you slipped on it and hit your head off of your cauldron, you received a concussion and mild burns, though those have healed quite nicely if I do say so myself."

"What no you're wrong. I fell down a flight of stairs. I was angry; I had just fought with Potter."

"Ms. Evans, that was over a year and a half ago, I remember because you were in here for a week. Very severe head and neck injuries"

I stared at her blankly. What did she mean over a year and a half ago, that was not possible?

Madam Pomfry stared at my shocked expression, "Ms. Evans what's the date today?" She asked looking very concerned.

"It's May 17th; I just finished my exams for fifth year."

"Ms. Evans I'm just going to go get the Headmaster if you'll wait right here."

Of course I'll wait what else would I do? Leave? She never even told what the date is, if it's not May 17th. I looked around the hospital wing it didn't look any different, but than how much in a hospital wing would change?

I sat up and the room swam, well I definitely hit my head. I slowly gathered my bearings. I was the only one in overly clean room. White light washed across the perfectly made beds. I glanced to the table situated next to my bed and found a little hand held mirror; I picked it up and looked at myself. I had this green paste on the side of my face, and than I noticed something that nearly made my heart stop.

My hair was short, my lovely long luxurious red hair, was cropped to my shoulders. It was the hair style I had always thought was gorgeous, where it sat between my chin and shoulders and was all curled and styled with this huge fringe pushed off too the side. My face registered the shock I felt, that was proof enough that it was me looking back. I had never been one to do different things with my hair; I had always just left it long and in the soft waves that fell mid way down my back.

I was startled by the door opening. In walked Professor Dumbledore and Madam Pomfry. "Ah Ms. Evans, glad to see that your awake. Now I understand that you seem to be a little unsure of the date." I nodded mutely. "Well I will fill you in and than we'll have your friends fill you in with the rest. Sound good?" I nodded again.

"Alright than, the date is January 24th and you are in your Seventh year, you're Head Girl; you are still the top of your class, in everything except for transfiguration."

"What happened to my memory?"

"I believe that when you hit your head a year and a half ago, and when you hit it again three days ago, something in your brain just couldn't take anymore and it crashed. I think in time you will get it back, though you will just have to deal with out it for the time being."

I stared at him shocked. I couldn't believe it. In time it will return… in time.

"Don't worry Ms. Evans we will get you through this. Now Poppy is Ms. Evans capable of returning to the head dorm?" He asked turning to the nurse.

"Yes I believe so, Ms. Evans you can remove the paste as soon as you get back to your room."

"Very well I will escort you to your room and than be on my way."

We walked in silence I mean what was there to say really. Its not like I was caught up on current events, I couldn't talk about school I didn't know what I had learned in the last year. I might as well have been back in sixth year. We arrived to a portrait I hadn't seen before. Than it dawned on me, this was my new dormitory. I was head girl. Me, Lily Evans HEAD GIRL! I held in a squeal.

"Your password I believe is Gryffindor Pride," He said looking at me over his half moon spectacles. I nodded and he smiled and began to walk away.

"Wait, who's the Head Boy?"

"Why its James, James Potter." He said with a smile.

Oh Shit.

My friends had shown up almost as soon as I got out of the shower. I had time to admire my new hair and all the new clothes in my wardrobe, and than they came down on me. All squeals and shrill sounds, it made my head spin, and my ears hurt. I didn't remember us being squealers.

I was assaulted with information anything from what we were learning in school, to who I had dated, who I was dating and it turned out I was dating the most wanted bachelor of Hogwarts, Alex Mays himself. I was shocked, what had happened to the little bookworm I used to be? I mean Alex Mays? Since when was I into guys like the hot Ravenclaw, I normally went for guys like Remus Lupin, quiet shy and bookwormish, like me.

Eventually I got rid of the girls and I retreated to my room. It didn't seem like my room at all, this new Lily was a stranger. I went digging for evidence of why I acted the way I did now. That's when I found it.

I was searching under my bed for something, anything that would tell me what was going on in this new life I was living, and my hand brushed against a wrapper of some sort. Now I was always a neat freak why should that change. I grabbed it and pulled it out. Headed to the trash and let it fall.

I screamed; that was no candy wrapper. It was a condom wrapper. I couldn't possibly be having sex I was a virgin. I would never sink so low as to… I glanced back at the garbage can and quickly picked it out, apparently I was, and there was no other explanation.

I could feel myself start to hyperventilate. Oh god, I didn't even know this Lily.

"Lily?" a girl's voice came from the common room.

"Lils?" now a male's voice called me.

I pulled myself together as quickly as I could, "Coming," I yelled.

There stood one of my best Girlfriends and apparently my new Boyfriend, who I may or may not be having sex with.

"Hey can I talk to you for a second Mary?" I asked, "We'll be right back Alex."

I took her into my room and held out my hand.

"What's that?" she asked.

"This is a condom wrapper as your rightly know," she rolled her eyes, and gave me a blank stare that said _sooo_? "Am I sleeping with Alex?" I asked apprehensively.

"No Lily I'm pretty sure you're a virgin still, at least to all of our knowledge you still are," She said looking concerned.

"Oh good."

I felt myself visibly relax, and I went out to talk to my new boyfriend. He stood up when I entered.

"Hey," he leaned in and kissed me. It was a nice enough kiss. I mean he was a great kisser. But I felt no sparks. Where were the sparks that I had dreamed of since I was little? I quickly checked my thoughts and turned and gave Alex my full attention.

My new boyfriend turned out to be not that new after all, I apparently we had been in this relationship for quite a while now, I mean at least since September.

But I didn't know him. He was a complete and utter stranger. Sure he was good looking, but I felt that the chemistry ended there. I got rid of him as fast as I possible could; solitude was loads better than having to deal with the dim-witted Alex May.

I was finally alone again I continued to look in vain for anything that would give me a clue into my new life.

This whole situation was going to drive me insane.

I mean I had only been awake for a few hours and already I felt overwhelmed. I can't do this I mean everything is just so new to me. Its only 9 and I'm ready to call it a day. But I can't, not yet at least. I still have to deal with the one and only James Fucking Potter.

I mean in my mind it feels like yesterday, I was in this huge brawl with him out by the lake, and now we live in the same space. He has a lot of unanswered questions that I want answers too now.

He eventually tromped in after ten, and stopped beside the couch I had plopped down on. I keep my eyes from looking at him.

"Is it true?" He asks, I say nothing so he continues, "You can't remember anything, nothing at all?

"The last event I remember is the fight down by the lake." I say scathingly.

"Lily look at me… look at me." I look, "You remember nothing?" He sits next to me. "This isn't some trick to get back at me, for last week?"

"What did you do last week?" I asked narrowing my eyes at him.

"Well I… I… you know, god Lily I don't know how to tell you this…but…" he trailed off not looking at me.

"Just tell me already Potter."

"We're kind of seeing each other, in a really secretive way," he rushed out.

"Me seeing you, yeah right. I have a boyfriend. Plus it's hard to see someone when you hate them with a lot of passion. And I do hate you with a lot of passion." I said standing up.

"No Lily wait, we've both changed, and you have to believe me." He grabbed my arm, and I stared at it, I felt chills travel through me, I yank it away. "And we have passion, just not of the hate variety." He quickly adds, though with no smirk which is strange, from what I remember.

I go to leave again, but he stops me. "Lily, please." He pulls me close, "Try to remember," I nod silently, "Please." He whispers.

Than his lips brush mine, it is as if my body is on fire. He deepens the kiss and I respond accordingly by wrapping my arms around him and plaiting my hands through his think dark hair. His wire glasses cut into my cheek.

Then I realize what I was doing and push him away.

"Leave me alone, we have nothing to do with each other," and I leave him standing forlorn by the fireplace.

I slide my back down the door, and put my head between my knees I can feel myself starting to hyper-ventilate. This can not be happening to me. There is no way in hell that I would let something like this happen. No no no no no!

"Argh!"

I pull myself up off of the ground and move to the only other door in the room. It thankfully turns out to be the bathroom, as I can't remember where anything is, with my brain so fuzzy. I start the bath and for the next hour and a half attempt to drown myself in the tub. The water stays warm the whole time of course. (I just love magic!)

I finally realize that laying around was going to get me no where. I pace my room with renewed force, though I can feel myself growing steadily more tired, I'm afraid of sleeping, the thought of having James Potter prancing through my dreams severely scared the shit out of me.

Eventually I calm down enough for sleep to come, and my fear of nightmares about Potter instantly surfaces, though they don't come in the form of a nightmare.

_James was sitting on the bed directly beside me, his fingers braided through my hair gently stroking the silky strands. He smiled down at me, and I grinned back. His face was getting closer, I could feel his sweet breath on my cheek, "I love you," he whispers into my ear. Than his mouth is on mine, the kiss goes deeper and deeper, as my back arches up into him, were both panting. His hands reach lower and lower, I'm in agony, we're both in agony._

_Than suddenly a banging at the door startles both of us. "Prongs… Prongs you in there?" the voice yells. James grunts and replies, "Yeah Padfoot, one sec." He grabs a silvery cloak and throws it over me, "I'll be right back, don't you dare move, and we will be finishing this." He hurriedly leaves, and I can hear their conversation through the door. "What were you doing James, wanking?" "Yes Sirius as a matter of fact I was, so if you don't mind I'd like to be able to finish." _

_There was a long pause, until… "Well I just wanted you to know that Evans skipped Ruins. Hey don't roll your eyes at me, I know you say you're over Evans, just thought you should know, girls like her only skip class for one reason. Somewhere in this castle she is having a hot steamy hook up session and it's not with you. Now I have to get to my next class, have fun jerking off." _

"_See ya Padfoot." James opened the door, and was halfway in when Sirius spoke again, his voice sounding slightly muffled, by the distance. "We still on for tonight?" "You bet."_

_And then he was back, ravishing my skin with his hot wet kisses. "Sorry, about that… now where were we?" He kissed his way from my chin to my collar bone. "Apparently I'm fairly predictable." I managed to get out between my gasps as his mouth did wonders to my neck. "Yes, but he didn't suspect a thing, no on does. No one will every find out about our little secret affair, at least not unless we tell them." His kisses continued to move lower and lower… _

"OH MY GOD," I screamed sitting up abruptly in bed.

"LILY, LILY ARE YOU OKAY?" James bounded into the room through the bathroom door.

"You… me… we… I had this dream and we… we… we were… you know." I stuttered.

James got this funny look on his face, "Tell me about it."

I started to explain about the dream, leaving out key embarrassing parts, and skimming over others.

"That happened," he said when I finally finished. "Now you missed some key parts but that happened…about a month ago I think… Yeah a month."

"No your making it up, we didn't… we couldn't… I'M A VIRGIN!!"

"No… Lily I assure you, you're not a virgin. If you'd like me to go into detail… I will."

I stare at him blankly, trying to shake the morbid curiosity that seems to have wrapped itself around me.

"I can see you're interested," he says with the first smirk I've seen since waking up. "So let me begin… It all started with a lot of built up sexual tension we had at the start of the year. We would scream at each other or, we would ignore each other. This went on for a number of weeks until that one fateful prefects meeting."

"We had disagreed about some odd thing, it doesn't matter what. All the prefects had left, they seemed to get it that once we got going in one of our arguments, we didn't stop." James chuckled; I gave him a look that made him continue. "Well anyways, you know how those arguments go, only this time one second were yelling, the next, were kissing. I hadn't realized we had been so close. It all seemed so natural. So one moment you were standing your finger on my chest, and than you were sitting on the desk with your legs wrapped around my waist."

James got this faraway look on his face, and I had to clear my throat to get his attention.

"Sorry… anyways that continued on for a number of weeks. We would argue, than make out. We never talked about it either. Than we made a huge mistake."

"Mistake? What kind of mistake?" I asked, all kinds of scenarios running through my mind.

"Well we started an argument here in the common room."

"Why is that a mistake?" I asked confused.

"Well it was a mistake, because no one could walk in and interrupt us. No one did interrupt us. And one thing led to another, and we made love on the rug in front of the fireplace. How cliché is that?" James said laughing.

"Yeah, so not laughing right now." I said, getting hot in the face.

"Yeah well, you didn't find it a laughing matter at the time either, your exact word were. 'Shit I guess we're going to have to talk about this now.' Which made me stop dead in my tracks with the whole laughing thing."

"So we talked?"

"Of course, you have this whole thing with talking after sex. Our deepest conversations happened after sex always."

"So we slept together on the floor, and in your room, that's it right? Right?"

"No are you kidding, I can't even remember how many times, we've done it. When we sleep in the same room, we would always have sex before we went to sleep, after we slept, and usually when we woke up or in the shower, sometimes both. You wake up so bloody early, though you made it up to me." James eyes were misted over. I snapped my fingers at him.

"But what about my boyfriend?"

"You've tried breaking up numerous times, but he just won't let you. He uses it more as a boost to his image anyways, he doesn't love you."

"Oh god this can't be happening." I hit my head as I lean back against the headboard.

"I'm sorry," James says quietly scooting closer towards me. "This shouldn't be happening." He pulls me close in a tight hug, and I find that I desperately need it. Tears start to slide down my cheeks.

James pulls me closer, and I wrap my arms tight around his neck.

"It's okay," he soothes. "It's going to be okay." I nod. I feel his lips brush my forehead. Than it hits me, this should be repelling; I mean I hate James Potter. His lips brush my check and he continues to mutter into my hair. I feel an odd pull, and I can't help it, I need to move my head, so that were closer.

And I do.

My lips brush his, and at first its sweet, the kisses are soft and caring. Than I feel a new intensity take over, and I feel heat where I've never felt it before. The kisses intensify, and James is leaning over me, his weight crushing me, in a most welcome way. I can feel his hand travelling under my shirt. I don't stop him; I don't want to stop him. I'm pulling off his clothes; I don't even mean to be doing this. Its just happening and I can't stop I don't want to stop. I'm panting and whimpering, and he's groaning. The feeling inside of me is building; I don't know what to do. I arch my back to try and relieve the pressure inside of me, though I know that I don't really want to. I don't know what I want.

Fuck. I just had sex with James Potter.

It's not only the fact that I had sex with him; it's more the fact that I want him. Again.

It's now the early morning, he's directly beside me, and I can't keep my eyes off of him. I mean its wrong of course but why didn't I see this before? The way his hair droops in his eyes, the way his muscles flex, when he moves in his sleep. This is not good, I'm afraid to say it. But I seem to be falling for James Potter

Fuck, my life sucks.

Shit, of course he wakes up, when I'm looking at him, everything in my life seems to be going my way right now, haha NOT.

"Good morning," he mumbles his voice scratchy with sleep. I think I might melt if he continues to talk like that.

"Uh ya, hi," I say quickly looking away.

"Hey it's ok," James says sitting up and tilting my chin toward him. That was a bad move on his part.

But my move was worse.

Basically in polite terms I attacked him, though if were being fair he wasn't one to just sit back and let me do all the work oh no, he definitely played his part. I just happened to be the instigator in this case.

So now not only have I slept with James Potter numerous times that I can't even remember. Now I've done it twice when I can, and believe me I won't be forgetting those two times in the near future.

"Wow," James said, laying flat on his back, while I searched my drawers for a skirt that actually reached mid-calf, I had given up on the whole knee length ones.

"Wow," he repeated.

"Would you shut up? Or at least come up with a different word, you've said that one about ten times in the last five minutes." I said scathingly, finally deciding on a skirt that I deemed at least decent compared to the rest.

"Its, just that you bloody just blew my mind, and I can't come up with a better word," a smirk playing across his handsome features.

I turned around to fix my hair, and put the finishing touches on my make-up. Once I had gotten out of the shower, and found Potter still lying on his back exactly where I left him, twenty minutes earlier, I had gotten ready without a second thought, and found that I had done my short hair, in a perfectly straight manner, with a spell that I had never performed before, ever.

"You're so beautiful," James whispered, pressing his lips to my neck. I jumped away.

"No, you have to stay away from me, at least a five foot radius at ALL times." I said breathlessly.

"Are you sure? Just a few moments ago, I would have had to pry you off me; I mean you were on top," he said slyly, the smirk instantly reappearing.

I shuddered at the thought, ashamed that I had actually just done that.

"No you have to stay away. I need to clear my head, and figure stuff out. AND you're not helping," I stressed as he took a step towards me.

"Fine, whatever you say Red. I'll promise to not go near you," he said as he left for his own room. I sighed but than he added with an after thought, "but I'm not going to make this easy." He said, poking his head back in my room. "Better watch yourself."

Oh God this was not going to be a good day.

* * *

So this was only meant to be a one shot, and i'm going to continue to work on it, but i would love some feedback. I might continue it into a short story, any ideas, where i should go from here would be great, though i have the basic idea in my head:)

Please Review.

Bookworm1011


	2. Chapter 2

**Little Miss Forgetful**

**A Story by Bookworm1011**

* * *

"What, the hell Potter, what happened to the five foot radius?"

"I'm sorry, the hall isn't five feet wide, your walking way to slow, and I need to get to class." James said that perfect smirk playing across his features.

"That doesn't give you the right to pinch my ass," I whispered, getting more furious by the second.

"I need to get you to move somehow," he whispered back, while leaning in and moving his eyebrows suggestively. "Better hurry Evans, don't want to be late for class." He called over his shoulder, as he headed past me.

"Humph, stupid Potter," I muttered under my breath. I knew he wasn't going to make this easy, but still, we're in public, I hope he didn't do anything like this before. Than it hit me, as I stared at his disappearing back.

"Wait up Potter," I cried running after him. "I don't know what class I have!"

*

The rest of the day was just as bad, everyway I turned I had different people telling me different things. Some of the things I had to do like attend meetings for clubs I hadn't even known existed. Others told me things I had done, and not all those things were pleasant. All the while James was always nearby, laughing at me and my misfortune and had a stupid grin on his face. I needed to get to the bottom of this. I needed to know as much as I could, without the information all coming from James Potter.

"Hey Mary, can I talk to you privately for a moment?"

"Of course you can, we're best friends." She said a concerned look on her face.

"Mary I need you to honestly tell me, anything and everything that I have done that may have seemed strange or out of character for me, since the end of fifth year."

"Yeah of course, but Lily, we should go somewhere where we won't be disturbed; this might get a little complex. I should have probably told you earlier, but you had so much going on, and I didn't want to freak you out or anything," She said, a look that I couldn't quite place flashing across her fair face.

"Ok. Hey Potter, don't come back to the room tonight, got it." I said as we passed James.

"Whatever you say Evans," James said, apparently seeming unfazed, but I caught the slight change in his eyes, the light upbeat look leaving them, and being replaced with a doubt.

Once we arrived at the Head Dorm, we sat down on the plush couch and I looked at Mary. She wasn't looking at me; her eyes were wandering everywhere purposely avoiding me.

"Tell me everything Mary. Start at the beginning, what happened after I fell down the stairs?"

She took a deep breath, looked at me, than turned to the fire and started, "You were fine, you received a minor concussion nothing to serious, and we left a few days after you got out of the hospital wing, so you didn't really run into James, which was a good thing cause you fumed about him for hours, and days. I think if he would have done anything you would have actually fought him. I don't ever remembering seeing you that furious," she paused checking my face for clues on how I would react. I kept my face free of emotion; I didn't want to stop her from telling me anything. "We left school, and no one really saw you that much, everyone was off doing the same old stuff. Traveling and what not. We arrived back at school as same as always, and everything went by as it normally does."

"Just before Christmas though, the night before the train left, you apparently had another giant blowout with James."

"Apparently?" I asked confused.

"Yeah, no one really saw it, apparently a few heard you both yelling. No one knows what it was about, and you never even mentioned it, and the next day you left for home. You didn't write to anyone, we only heard from you when you sent our Christmas gifts, and even then there was no note. We were all going to jump down your throat when you got back, but that was before we saw you."

Mary paused, but when she saw my look of confusion she quickly continued, "You came back completely changed, you hairstyle, make-up, wardrobe, your outlook on life, entirely different. And all you ever said about it was, 'I was ready for a change,' that's all. After that you had I string of boyfriends, though you never slept with them, and you always stayed caught up on your homework."

"Did I ever talk to Potter?"

"Never, not once," Mary continued, "The two of you wouldn't even look the other in the eye. You never mentioned him at all, it was strange. Before it would be a constant string of complaints, but than there wasn't even a word."

"That summer you got to know Alex at a party, and the two of you hooked up two weeks before school started. You were made Head Girl, and school started again. The weird part is, James was made Head Boy, and you never even said a word against him. Not one. You just seemed to accept it. I mean neither of you said anything to each other for about a month. At least never in public, we often wondered what went on behind closed doors, but you never filled us in," Mary said with a hint of hurt in her voice. "Though around the beginning of October I think, the two of you started arguing during a prefect meeting. Remus said it sounded like it had been an ongoing argument. After that the two of you argued all the time."

I stared at her, both James and Mary's stories added up. "What's happened since than?"

"Well your still dating Alex, you and James are now civil with each other. James is still an ass though; he tried hooking up with Elle. He's such a womanizer. But honestly Lily, the girls and I think you were hiding something. We really do."

"James tried to hook up with Elle, my friend Elle. When?" I demanded, feeling the anger slowly boiling in my blood.

"December, I think. Though it might have been November, Why?" She said with a puzzled look.

"Just want to make sure Elle is ok, you know," quickly covering up my slip. I silently prayed that my face would go that awful shade of red I hated so much.

"Oh she's fine, she saw right through it." Mary said, completely unfazed. She glanced at the clock on the mantle, "Wow its getting late I should probably head back now, don't want to get in trouble now." She said giggling, "Oh and Lily."

"Yeah?"

"You seem like your self now, I'm sure whatever you were keeping from us, was nothing." She got up to leave, but stopped at the door. "But don't let James get to you I'm sure he'll try and pull something I mean he is a Marauder. Have a good sleep."

Oh fuck my life. James was still the womanizing bullshitter he had always been and I had fallen for it hook line and sinker.

*

I sat by the warmth of the fire for hours. James trudged in so late that all the warmth had left the room. I felt what little heat left drain away, as the anger started to surface.

"Hey Red, what was with you at dinner?"

"I talked to Mary, she told me everything." I said standing, the anger leaking through, no matter how calm I was trying to be.

"Now wait one second Lily, the stories added up didn't they?" He said cutting me off, but having the grace to look nervous.

"Parts of them did, but what about Elle?"

"It was a cover," he said quickly. "They were on to us, they new something was different, so you gushed about Alex, and I pretended I was after Elle."

"She warned me not to believe anything you said, you're a Marauder." I said, already feeling relieved, even if it was against my better judgement.

"Lily you can't be serious, you felt it, you can't fake that kind of chemistry, it's just not possible. When we get within five feet of each other, we can't help but touch each other." He said looking at me pleadingly. "We've had a few near misses, so we pretend to get along, so no one will suspect what were doing, we had to lay false trails so no one will clue in."

"And what are we doing?"

"We're having a right fucked up relationship that is what we're doing, and we can't stop," He said, taking a step closer. "We're in too deep," he whispered, I could feel his sweet breath on my face. "We're in love." He kissed me.

"Love?" I asked breathlessly a few moments later.

"Yes Lily Evans, Love. I Love You, and only you." James eyes were shining with something that I had never seen before. James Potter was looking at me, his eyes full of love.

And than we were doing it again. Screwing up. But boy did I like to screw up, especially when James Potter was the one who I screwed up with.

*

"James?" It was a few hours later, James had started the fire, and we were lying on the rug in front of the hearth.

"Hmm?"

"What happened before Christmas in Sixth Year?"

James sat up abruptly, "Are you sure you want to know that?"

"Positive." I said though with little conviction in my voice.

"Ok, but you can't get mad, it was a long time ago," He said sighing.

I nodded mutely.

"Well, you were patrolling, and you caught me. Now we hadn't really spoken since the fifth year incident, and a major blowout was bound to happen sooner or later. So before you started yelling at me, I just went and kissed you."

"You did what?" I felt the shock slowly spreading across my face.

"I know probably not my smartest move, but I did it anyway," he paused, glancing at my face before continuing, "You actually kissed me back. After though you yelled and screamed, and I was sick of it, so I said things I shouldn't have." He looked away, and I could see the red creeping up his neck.

"Like what?"

"That you were a bookworm, and didn't know how to even have a relationship. That maybe if you took care of how you looked other people would like you and that I was fucked up to ever think of you in any other way than as an out cast."

I stared at him, in open mouth horror.

"I know I was a jerk, and when you got back, I was prepared to apologize," he continued quickly, hoping to make it sound better, "But when I saw you I couldn't get the words out, I mean you were drop dead gorgeous. Though you were a tease, and acted like one too. You did it to spite me, and it worked."

"You gave me my first kiss?"

"Apparently, and I'm so sorry I was so mean after it too, I was just so angry." He said with a pleading look in his eyes. He really meant what he said, he was sorry.

"I was a bitch, its ok. Though this explains a lot, why didn't you tell me?" I asked confused, yes it was bad, but if James really did love me, shouldn't he be completely honest with me.

"I was embarrassed, what I said wasn't true, and it was extremely hurtful." He said, looking away.

"Its ok, just don't do it again," I say turning his head to look at me. Gently I touched a kiss on his lips, and he responded slowly. Just how sorry he was seeping through the kiss.

"I promise to never tell lies about the woman I love," he said with a smirk, after breaking the kiss. Even through the smirk I could tell it was genuine.

"I believe you." I said, and pulled him to me for another kiss.

*

I woke up the next morning lying next to James on the rug. It was Saturday, Saturday's had always been good days for me. I had always gotten lots of work done. This Saturday would be different much different.

I groaned.

James stirred beside me, "Red, what is it?" He asked rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"I have a date with Alex this afternoon," I groaned again, "What am I going to do?"

"Well you're not going to do this."

James began to kiss my neck, it sent shivers down my spine and my eyes closed on their own accord. I put my hands in his hair, encouraging James to continue the amazing job he's doing. He moved from my neck up along my jaw, and hovered above my lips.

I opened my eyes, and found him gazing back, taunting me. "What are you doing?" I asked.

"Just taking in your breathtaking beauty, oh and your funny hairstyle." He said with a huge grin.

"What's wrong with my hair?" I squealed, my hands flying towards it, patting and tucking.

James just began rolling around on the floor laughing. I stood up in a huff, and began to stalk to my bedroom; I was abruptly stopped, by James' hand on my foot.

"Where do you think your going?"

"To take a shower, and fix my "funny" hair!" I spat at him, and yanked my foot from his grasp.

I gathered up my things and made my way to the bathroom. But found it occupied. "What are you doing? I said I was going to take a shower!" I went to turn and head back to my room, but was stopped by the pull of my hormones.

James opened the shower door and stood there in all of his naked glory. "You're free to join me if you would like." My eyes trailed down his wet, lean muscular body, and I dropped the things I was holding, and entered the shower, with all of my clothes on.

Though the clothes didn't stay on very long.

*

I left James in the heads common room, just after lunch. He said goodbye with a very enthusiastic kiss, "Just so you don't forget me," his eyes dark with desire.

Alex was standing in the front foyer, looking tall, blond, and everything my dark haired lover wasn't.

Alex smiled at me, and images of my morning flashed before my eyes, James in the shower, James at the table, working on an essay his foot running the length of my leg, both of us on top of the table, not working on an essay but studying the human anatomy. James sitting on the couch, playing with my hair, James, James, James, James, James. "Are we ready to go?" Alex asked.

"Yes, I believe so." I said a small smile playing across my lips. Inside I was crying, how was I going to do this?

* * *

Thanks all so much to my reviewers! And sorry for the long wait, the last three months have been so hard for me, but its summer so fingers crossed i can get another chapter up!

Tell me what you think, please don't hold back!

Bookworm1011


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